A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, so he asked his collections manager to leave a voice-mail for them saying, ”We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one. ” The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, ”Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long. ”-0+
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, ”Your first job will be to sweep the store.”
”But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
”Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. ”Here, give me the broom -- I’ll show you how.
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said ”Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. ”Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ”Congratulations on your new location”.
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into
the personnel director’s office. ”What is the meaning of this?” the
director asked. ”When you applied for this job, you told us you had five
years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever
”Well,” the young man replied, ”in your advertisement you said you
wanted somebody with imagination.”
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from
all the private businesses that they were ’protecting’.
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf
person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to
communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50, 000.
He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe
The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some
of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf
collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can’t
communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, ”Ask him where the money is.”
The interpreter signs, ”Where’s the money?”
The deaf replies, ”I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The
interpreter tells the hood, ”He says he doesn’t know what you’re
The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the ear of the deaf
collector. ”NOW ask him where the money is.”
The interpreter signs, ”Where is the money?”
The deaf man replies, ”The $50, 000 is in Central Park, hidden in the
third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate.”
The interpreter says to the hood, ”He says he still doesn’t know what
you’re talking about, and doesn’t think you have the guts to pull the