A guy walks into a restaurant, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he’d like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.
”Listen buddy,” he growled. ”See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame’s all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?”
”Nah, guess not,” the man replied. ”I wouldn’t want to have to explain it 5 times.”
At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any basketball player who wasn’t maintaining a passing average. Furious, the coach came storming into the dean’s office, followed by one of his star players. ”You can’t keep him from playing!” the coach roared. ”We won’t win this weekend without him!” ”I don’t care,” the dean said. ”Things have gotten out of hand at this college.” ”What do you mean, out of hand?” the coach demanded. ”I’ll show you what I mean,” the dean said. He turned to the basketball player and said, ”Tell me, how much is six times seven?” The player thought for several seconds. Then he said, ”Thirty- one?” The dean turned to the coach and said, ”I rest my case.” ”Oh, come on now,” the coach said. ”Why are you making such a big deal of it? After all, he only missed it by one.”-0+
There was a huge college freshman who decided he would try out for the football team. ”Can you tackle?” asked the coach.
”Sure, watch this,” the freshman replied, as he ran smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
”Wow, I’m impressed,” the coach said. ”Can you run?”
”Of course,” said the freshman. He was off like a bolt of lightning and in just over nine seconds, had run a hundred yard dash.
”That’s great,” said the coach with enthusiasm, ”but, can you pass a football?”
Rolling his eyes and hesitating for a moment, the freshman replied, ”If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.”
A college football coach had recruited a top talent, but the player couldn’t pass the school’s entrance exam. Needing the recruit badly, the coach went to the dean and asked if the recruit could take the test orally.
The dean agreed, and the following day the recruit and the coach were seated in his office. ”Okay,” the dean said. ”What is seven times seven?”
The recruit mulled it over for a moment, then said, ”I think it’s 49.”
Suddenly the coach leapt to his feet. ”Please, Dean,” he begged, ”give him another chance!”