A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink.
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says ”whatever she is is drinking give her another one and tell her it is on me.”
The bartender replies ”I don’t think you want to do that.”
”What do you mean?” yells the polish guy, ”Send her the drink!”
”O. K.” the bartender replies, ”but I don’t think it is a good idea.”
”And why not?” asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says ”because she’s a lesbian.”
”I don’t care, send her the drink.” says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, ”so what part of Lesbia are you from?”
”My god! What happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
”I got in a tiff with Riley.”
”Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. ”He must have had something in his hand.”
”That he did,” Kelly said. ”A shovel it was.”
”Dear Lord. Didn’t you have anything in your hand?”
”Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley’s tit.” Kelly said. ”And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.”
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub
They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were
about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed into each of
their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over
the beer and then started yelling ”Spit it out, spit it out, you
a rednek goes to a mart and wins 20 million dallars.
”gimme my money” he says
”we can give you ten million now and the rest is spread out over 19 years.” said th shop keeper
”i want it now!” said the rednek.
The shop keeper explains, calmly, again.
”I WANT IT NOW! IF YOU ARENT GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!!” SAID THE REDNEK
This guy walks into a bar down in Georgia and orders a Grape Nephi. Surprised,
the bartender looks around and says, ”You isn’t from around here. Where you
The guy says, ”I’m from Pennsylvania”.
The bartender asks, ”What do you do up in Pennsylvania?”
The guy responds, ”I’m a taxidermist”.
The bartender asks, ”A taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?”
The guy says, ”I mount dead animals”.
The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, ”It’s OK boys, he’s one of