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ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing t

ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain... we haven’t seen them since. The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if you’re an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whisky vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drpwmed. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down. There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Love, Mom


Joke #21235 posted in the category: Funny jokes about country, Funny jokes about miscellaneous, Funny jokes about state, Funny jokes about Ethnic, Funny jokes about letter, Funny jokes about Arkansas.

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This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it’s a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing! ”... On the road again, just can’t wait to get on the road again...” . The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M. A. and drags the poor guy back to the table. ”Look!” he says, and pulls the cork out again, ”... On the road again...” The M. A. is totally unimpressed...” So what?” he says. ”Isn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” , the guy asked. ”Are you kidding?” says the M. A. ”Any asshole can sing country music!”


Joke #21236 posted in the category: Funny jokes about countries, Funny jokes about entertainment and arts, Funny jokes about miscellaneous, Funny jokes about sex, Funny jokes about Ethnic, Funny jokes about music, Funny jokes about one liners, Funny jokes about genders, Funny jokes about bad tastes, Funny jokes about dirtys.

Did you hear about the Polish Navy’s tragic accident? A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.


Joke #21237 posted in the category: Funny jokes about countries, Funny war and military jokes, Funny Ethnic jokes, Funny Polish jokes.

Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearable hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. ”I don’t understand,” he marveled, ”how you can listen to drooling patients from morning till night on a day like this and still look so spry and unbothered when it’s over.” The older analyst said simply, ”Who listens?”


Joke #21238 posted in the category: Funniest Country jokes, Funniest Professional Medical jokes, Hilarious Ethnic jokes, Funniest Medical jokes, Funniest Medicine jokes, Funniest Psychiatrist jokes.

A man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says ”I have some bad news. You have HAGS.” ”What is HAGS” the man asks. ”It’s herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis” says the doctor. ”Oh my God” says the man. ”What are you going to do?” ”We are going to put you in an isolated room and feed you pancakes and pizza.” ”Is that going to help me” says the man. ”No” says the doctor. ”But it’s the only food we can think of that we can slide under the door”


Joke #21239 posted in the category: Funny country jokes, Miscellaneous jokes, Funny professional jokes, Funny professional medical jokes, Funny religion jokes, Sex jokes, Ethnic jokes, Funny lawyer jokes, Funny doctor jokes, Funny medicine jokes, Funny gender jokes, Funny bad taste jokes, Funny dirty jokes.

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