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Constipated people don’t give a cr

Constipated people don’t give a crap

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Joke #11388 posted in the category: Body Parts jokes, Driving jokes, Bumper Sticker jokes.



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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ’Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ’To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
’What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ’Giving up?’

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Joke #11389 posted in the category: Body Parts jokes, Kids jokes, People jokes, Relationship jokes, Religion jokes, Sex jokes, Body Health jokes, Children jokes, Little Johnny jokes, Gender jokes.

10. You’ve got a hole in your head.

9. Your master strangles you all the time.

8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.

7. You shrink in cold water.

6. You never get a haircut.

5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.

4. Your closest neighbour is an asshole.

3. Your best friend is a pussy.

2. Your scalp gets cut off if you’re Jewish.

And the number one reason why it sucks to be a penis:

1. Every time you get excited, you throw up.

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Joke #11390 posted in the category: Jokes about body parts, Hilarious Computer and Technology jokes, Jokes about miscellaneous, Jokes about sex, Jokes about body health, Hilarious Computer jokes, Jokes about funny list, Hilarious Gender jokes, Hilarious Dirty jokes.

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

”Hit him again,” the 5-year-old said. ”He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!”

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Joke #11391 posted in the category: Funniest Body Parts Jokes, Funny family jokes, Jokes about kid, Funniest People Jokes, Funny professional medical jokes, Funniest Sex Jokes, Funniest Body Health Jokes, Funny dad jokes, Funny mom and dad jokes, Funniest Mom jokes, Funny parent jokes, Funniest Baby Jokes, Funny children jokes, Funniest Little Johnny Jokes, Funny medical jokes, Funny gender jokes.

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. ”So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

”It’s pretty nice,” she replies. ”Except they won’t let you fart.”

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Joke #11392 posted in the category: Funny body parts jokes, Funny miscellaneous jokes, Funny older people jokes, Funniest Professional Medical jokes, Funny sex jokes, Funny body health jokes, Jokes about breakfast, Funniest Elderly jokes, Funny seniors jokes, Funniest Doctor and Nurse jokes, Funniest Medical jokes, Funniest Gender jokes.

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