Actual Bumper stickers actually found on cars-
- Horn broken. Watch for finger.
- Your kidâ€™s an honors student but hey, youâ€™re still an idiot!
- All generalizations are false.
- Cover me, Iâ€™m changing lanes.
- I brake for no apparent reason.
- Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
- Iâ€™m not as think as you drunk I am.
- Forget about World Peace for now..... visualize using your turn
- My kid can beat up youâ€™re honors student.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Tax. A fine for doing good. Fine. A tax for doing badly.
- Lottery. A tax for people who are bad at math.
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- My kid got youâ€™re honors student pregnant.
1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. A hard-on doesnâ€™t count as personal growth.
4. Donâ€™t bother me. Iâ€™m living happily ever after.
EARTH FIRST - Weâ€™ll log the other planets later.
If your ship hasnâ€™t come in... Swim out to it!
Lifeâ€™s too short to dance with ugly men/women.
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
Men are proof that women can take a joke.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I like you but I wouldnâ€™t want to see you working with
â€ťAuntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothyâ€ť
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION. (means avoid confusion/over-complication)
LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
I didnâ€™t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
I donâ€™t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Itâ€™s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
If we arenâ€™t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with
Your kid may be an honor student, but youâ€™re still an idiot.
According to my calculations, the problem doesnâ€™t exist.
Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of â€ťSmartâ€ť?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember youâ€™re unique, just like everyone else.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who canâ€™t.
Why is â€ťabbreviationâ€ť such a long word?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Bumper sticker in the year 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
Nuke the Whales.
I swerve for cats.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. Iâ€™m changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
Laugh alone and the world thinks youâ€™re an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
Itâ€™s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Be nice to your kids. Theyâ€™ll choose your nursing home.