Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, ”That tasted like bull shit!” The doctor replied, ”It was, Jesse. You were a quart low.”
Q: How do you get 100 jews in a bus?
A: Throw a quarter into the bus.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Tell them Hitler’s driving.
Two bees buzz around what’s left of a rose bush.
”How was your summer?” asks bee number one.
”Not too good,” sez bee two.
”Lotta rain, lotta cold. Not enough flowers, not enough pollen.”
The first bee has an idea. ”Hey, why don’t you go down the corner and hang a left? There’s a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit.”
Bee two buzzes, ”Thanks!” and takes off.
An hour later, the bees bump into each other again. ”How was the bar mitzvah?” asks the info-bee.
”Great!” sez buddy-bee. The first bee peers at his pal and wonders,
”What’s that on your head?”
”A yarmulke,” is the answer. ”I didn’t want them to think I was a wasp.”