Some Polish people decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don’t give up.
They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too.
They decide to write a letter to the Polish agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later
they receive this reply from the bureau: ”Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample.”
One day a horse and a chicken were walking along on the farm, talking quietly to themselves. All of a sudden, the horse falls into a hole that he didn’t see.
The horse says to the chicken, ”Go get the farmer. He’ll know what to do.” So, the chicken runs off.
About 10 minutes later, the horse hears a car, and he sees the chicken’s head peer over the top of the hole. The chicken says, ”I couldn’t find the farmer, but I got his car. Hold this rope, and I’ll try to drag you out.” So, after a few minutes, the horse was safely out of the hole.
About a month later, both had forgotten all about the hole. They were once again talking and walking about the farm, when all of a sudden, the chicken falls into the same hole. The chicken says to the horse, ”Go get the farmer; he’ll know what to do.”
But the horse walks around the hole and says, ”I think I can stand over the hole. Grab my thingy, and I’ll pull you out.” And so, about 5 minutes later, the chicken was safely out of the hole.
This time, they remembered the hole, and never got stuck again.
Moral: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a car to pick up a chick!
A Farmer And His Wife Are Lying In Bed Together One Mornig, When The Farmer Roles Over And Lets Out A Great Big Fart.
” Oh You Dirty Sod! ” Says The Farmers Wife
this Goes On For Weeks And One Day The Farmers Wife Says
” One Day Your Goin’ Ta Fart Your Guts Out! ”
” Ha Like Hell ” Chukles The Farmer And Farts Again
one Morning The Farmers Wife Gets Up Extra Early And Pops To The Nearest Shop And Buys A Big Cheap Bag Of Chicken Jibblets, She Rushes Home And Places The Jibblets Under The Covers And Goes Down Stair For Breakfast.
later The Farmer Comes Down Panting, His Face Bright Red
” Whats The Matter Dear? ” Asks His Wife
” Ya’ Now You Said Ill End Up Fartin’ Me Guts Out...”
” Yes? ”
” Well It Happend! ”
” Oh ” Says His Wife ” Is You Alright? ”
” I Am Now I Shoved Em’ Back Up Again... ”
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, ”Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions. He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks ”What is your occupation?”
The woman replies, ”I’m a high-priced whore.” The accountant balks and says, ”No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman says, ”OK, I’m a high-end call girl!”
”No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, ”I’m an elite chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, ”What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a call girl?” ”Well, I raised over 5, 000 little peckers last year.”