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Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect the

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!


Joke #25371 posted in the category: Funny driving jokes, Funny miscellaneous jokes, Funny jokes about bumper stickers, Funny jokes about cars, Hilarious Lists jokes.

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I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.

”Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.


Joke #25372 posted in the category: Driving jokes, Miscellaneous jokes, Jokes about bumper sticker, Jokes about car, Funny Lists jokes.

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
3. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
4. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
6. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
7. Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
8. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
9. You! Off my planet!
10. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.


Joke #25373 posted in the category: Driving jokes, Miscellaneous jokes, Hilarious Bumper Sticker jokes, Funny Lists jokes.

All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body.

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

Oh sure. But what’s the speed of dark?

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

Don’t miss today worrying about tomorrow.

I think therefore we have nothing in common.

With my life I could be on all of Oprah’s shows.

Computers help us to do stupid things faster.

Welcome to California. Now Go Home.

Don’t Californicate Oregon.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

If you always take time to stop and smell the roses... sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.


All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.


Joke #25374 posted in the category: Hilarious Driving jokes, Funny jokes about bumper stickers.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

Auntie Em, Hate you; Hate Kansas; Taking the dog. --Dorothy.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

I am not a bum - My wife works

I am not unemployed I am a consultant

I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

Don’t Start With Me. You Know How I Get.

A good day is when the shit hits the fan and I have time to duck.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

Humpty Dumpty didn’t fall... he was pushed.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.


Joke #25375 posted in the category: Funny jokes about driving, Hilarious Bumper Sticker jokes.

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