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The lift is being fixed for the next day.

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you

will be unbearable.

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Joke #14709 posted in the category: Funny city jokes, Funny miscellaneous jokes, Bucharest jokes, Funniest International jokes.



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Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies

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1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am

sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them

out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short

rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a

thorough extermination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up

together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate

feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

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Joke #14710 posted in the category: Jokes about city, Funny jokes about computer and technology, Jokes about entertainment and arts, Funny Hong Kong jokes, Funny jokes about computer, Jokes about media, Jokes about movie and TV.

A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong passing

through the native quarter, and was surprised to see a synagogue. He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese rabbi and a Chinese congregation. The service was touching.
As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the

door greeting his congregants. When our

Brooklyn friend came up, the Chinese rabbi said, ”You a Jew?”
”Yes, I’m Jewish,” replied the Brooklynite.
”Funny,” said the Chinese rabbi. ”You don’t look it.”

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Joke #14711 posted in the category: Hilarious City jokes, Funniest Country jokes, Funniest Religion jokes, Funny jokes about Hong Kong, Funniest Chinese jokes, Funniest Jewish jokes.

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his penis is developing a bend in the middle.

So the doctor ran a series of tests, and had the man return to his office to report the results.

”Have you been in the Far East recently, within the last year or so?”

”Why, yes,” replied the man.

”And did you have sex while over there?”

The man looked worried. ”Well, yes, once or twice.”

The doctor’s face got a grave expression on it. ”That’s what I was afraid of. You have a new disease that’s just starting to spread in this country. It’s called ’Hong Kong Dong.’ ”

The man gulped. ”What do you do for it? Is there a cure?”

”Well, sort of. You see, there is no way to cure the disease, but you must have an operation.”

”An operation? What kind of operation?”

”We cut off your penis.”

”Wow! Do you mind if I get a second opinion?”

The doctor replied, ”Of course not. In something of such a serious nature as this, I think you should get a second and a third opinion!”

The man consulted a urologist who told him essentially the same story, diagnosis, prognosis, and recommended treatment.

He was understandably upset, so he asked the second doctor to recommend another doctor for his third opinion. The urologist suggested that, since this disease originated in the Far East that he travel there, as the Asian doctors might know more about it.

Mr. Unlucky promptly booked passage on an airline for Hong Kong, where he received an immediate consultation with that Crown Colony’s most eminent physician.

After a series of tests, he awaited the verdict. The doctor entered the examining room.

”Well, is it Hong Kong Dong?” he inquired, unable to wait.

”Yes.”

”And is it really incurable?”

”Yes, there is no known cure.”

The man’s face crumpled as he fought back tears. ”And am I going to have an operation? Will they have to cut off my penis?”

At that the man was astonished to see the doctor break into laughter.

”What’s so funny, Doc? You mean I don’t have to have surgery?”

As the doctor regained control of himself, he managed to choke out, ”Oh, those American doctors! Cut, clamp, sew! Surgery, surgery, all they can think of is surgery!”

”I don’t have to have my penis cut off?” The man was overjoyed.

”Of course not! Just wait a couple more weeks, and it’ll fall off by itself!”

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Joke #14712 posted in the category: Hilarious City jokes, Funniest Country jokes, Jokes about Hong Kong, Funniest Chinese jokes.

The following are actual English subtitles used in films from

Hong Kong:

* I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

* Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

* Gun wounds again?

* Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

* A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.

* Darn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken.

* Take my advice, or I’ll spank you a lot.

* Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

* This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I

am sure you will not mind that I remove your toenails and leave

them out on the dessert floor for ants to eat.

* Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.

* I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!

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Joke #14713 posted in the category: Funny city jokes, Jokes about countries, Funny entertainment and arts jokes, Jokes about insults, Funny jokes about Hong Kong, Jokes about Asians, Funny movie and TV jokes, Jokes about racists.

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