The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.” It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. ”My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower!”-21+
Spell CheckerI halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revueMistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeather eye am wrong oar writeIt shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maidIt nose bee fore two longAnd eye can put the era riteIts rarely ever wrong. I’ve scent this massage threw it, And I’m shore your pleased too noIts letter prefect in every weigh;My checker tolled me sew.-0+
10) E-Mail flames from some guy named ’Fluffy.’
9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8) You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt. recreational. catnip.
7) Your web browser has a new home page: http: //www. feline. com/.
6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.
5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of ’CyberDog.’
4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2) On IRC you’re known as the IronMouser.
1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. In some places, C: is the root of all directories.
8. Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice.
9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. Don’t byte off more than you can view.
14. Fax is stranger than fiction.
15. What boots up must come down.
16. Windows will never cease.
17. Virtual reality is its own reward.
18. Modulation in all things.
19. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day,