The three bears had been having some trouble recently and ended up in family court. Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.
So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents.
When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said ”No, I can’t live with Poppa bear, he beats me terribly.”
”Okay,” said the judge, ”Then you want to live with your mother, right?”
”No way!” replied baby bear, ”She beats me worse than Poppa bear does.”
The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. ”Well, you have to live with someone, so are there any relatives you would like to stay with?”
”Yes,” answered baby bear, ”my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.”
You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge.
”Oh certainly,” said baby bear, ”The Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.”
One day this hunter drives his truck out into the forest, in the trunk he has a pistol, a shotgun and a rocket launcher.
So he stops off in the middle of the woods, grabs his pistol out of the trunk and goes off on foot in search of bears.
He sees one drinking down by the stream, he slowly aims the gun, and BANG! he shoots the bear and it falls down to the floor, not 2 seconds later he gets a tap on the shoulder, he turns around to find the bear standing right in front of him, the bear says ”look mate, that really hurt, so im gonna give u 2 choices, either i rip you to shreds, or i bumfuck you” so the hunter thinks, o shit what should i do? , but seen as he dosent want to die he lets the bear bumfuck him.
Afterwards he’s really pissed off about the bear incedent, so he runs back to his car, grabs his shotgun and goes out in search to kill that same bear.
He finds the bear he’s looking for with 2 other bears, so BANG BANG BANG! he shoots all 3 of them and they fall to the floor, yet only 2 seconds later he is tapped on the shoulder, he turns around to find the 3 bears standing in front of him, so the first bear says ”alright mate, that hurt the 3 of us, so you’ve got 2 choices, we bumfuck you, or we rip you to shreds” so once again the hunter who doesn’t want to die lets them bumfuck him.
So now the hunter is really really pissed off, so he goes back to his car, pulls out his rocket launcher and goes off in search for those 3 bears.
He comes across them in a whole pack of ten bears, he aims the rocket and BOOM! the bears blow up. But once again he is tapped on the shoulder, he turns around to face the 10 bears behind him, the first one says ” look mate, just between you and me, you’re not really in this for the hunting are ya”
One day a bear was in a forest you know were bears hang out and he saw a rabbit he was hungry so he decided to chase it mean while a genie was chillin’ and saw the bear chaseing the rabbit and it was getting kinda annoying so he thought he would stop by granting them some wishes so he floated over and told them ”hey if you two knock it off ill grant you both two wishes” they siad it was cool so the genie turned to the bear and said your bigger so you can go first and the bear said i wish i had the biggest bear dick in in all of beardom and the genie clapped his and his wish was granted he had the biggest bear dick in all of beardom
so he asked the rabbit want is your wish
he said i want a harley davidson motor cycle
the genie thought this was kinda wierd but he granted it any way it was the bears turn again so the genie said what is you final wish the bear said i want all the bears in the entir world to be female the genie granted his wish. it was the rabbits turn the genie said ”ok this is your last wish you should really think hard ”and the rabbit said no no i know what i want genie said well what is it and the rabbit said ”i want him to be gay” and sped away on his motorcycle.
A bear was chasing a rabbit around the woods, when the rabbit came across a magic frog. He said that if they stopped fighting he’d grant them 3 wishes each ”Bear, you go first” the frog said. So the bear wished that all the bears in the wood except him were female. The rabbit then asked for a motorbike.” poof, two wishes left.” ” duh, ” thought the bear, ”rabbit could have just asked for money and then he could have bought his own motorbike” So bear then wished that all the bears except him in the next wood were female too. The rabbit then asked for a motorcycle helmet, put it on and kickstarted the engine. The bear was shocked at how thick the rabbit was being, he could have asked for more money and bought his own
” Rabbit, your last wish” the frog said. The rabbit said: ”I wish the bear was gay”, and drove off into the distance.
There was a Genie that saw a bear chasing a rabbit the genie said if the bear stops he will grant them each two wishes. They Agree the bear says ” I want to have the bigest penis that any bear ever had so it is granted the rabbit says ” I want a motorcycle” the genie shrugs and grants his wish. Then the bear said I want all the bears but me to be female that is also granted then the rabbit starts his motorcycle and says ” I wish the bear was gay” and rides off.-0+