This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked ”Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, ”Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
”Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: ”I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
George said, ”I thought you said there was nobody available!”
A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
”Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”
”Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death.”
”Oh, really? How’s that?”
”There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”
”I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”
”If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man.”
A police officer was driving his patrol car down next to a beach
when he noticed a man knee deep in the water holding two red
things, he wasn’t sure what they were. The officer made his way
down the sand to meet the man standing in the water. As he
approached he noticed that the two red things were lobsters.
The officer said to the man ”its illegal to be poaching for
lobsters, you know”.
”What are you talking about?” he said startled, ”these are my
”Sure they are!” replied the policeman.
”No, I’m serious. I will throw them into the waves and call them
back. They will come”.
”This I have to see”. Chuckled the officer.
So the man launched the two lobsters back into the ocean and
stood there watching them.
”I thought you said you could call those two lobsters back” said
”Lobsters?” replied the man, ”what lobsters?”
Recently, all the dogs were stolen from the local pound.
Police have no leads.
All the toilets were stolen from Police HQ last night.
Police have nothing to go on.
A hole was discovered in the nudist colony fence recently.
Police are looking into it.