A bit-part actor finally got his first leading role in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off a high diving board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of the board, looked down and promptly climbed down again.
`What’s the matter?’ asked the director.
`I can’t jump from that board!’ said the actor. `Do you know there’s only one foot of water in that pool?’
’Yes,’ said the director. `We don’t want you to drown, you know.’
wo actors that haven’t seen each other in several weeks run in to each other on the street.
1st Actor: Haven’t seen you in a while, how’s everything going?
2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two weeks ago I got a call from a lawyer in Florida. It seems I had an aunt that I never knew about that died and left me $2, 000, 000.
#1: That’s great!
#2: Yeah. And then last week I hit the lottery and won $7, 000, 000.
#1: That’s wonderful!
#2: Yeah, but this week, nothing!
Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Five-- one to climb the ladder and the other four to say that should have been me!
A2: One to change it, and 99 to stand there and say ’I could have done it better.’
A3: Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.