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Aging jokes


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

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Joke #16245 posted in the category: Aging jokes.

I’ve sure gotten old. I’ve had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But..... Thank God, I still have my Florida driver’s license!

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Joke #25989 posted in the category: Aging jokes.

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: ”And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.

She simply replied, ”No peer pressure.”

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Joke #81494 posted in the category: Aging jokes.

God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference...

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Joke #84138 posted in the category: Aging jokes.

Just Before The Funeral Services, The Undertaker Came Up To The Very Elderly Widow And Asked, “how Old Was Your Husband? ”

“98, ” She Replied. “two Years Older Than Me. ”

“so You’re 96, ” The Undertaker Commented.

she Responded, “hardly Worth Going Home Is It? ”

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Joke #84139 posted in the category: Aging jokes.

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