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Ajit jokes


Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.

Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.

Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa.. arrling’s typing.

Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.

Raabert: Magar kyoon baas?

Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger

starrt kar do.

Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?

Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai?

Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.

Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.

Raabert: Yes Boss.

Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare

kabze mein hai.......

Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.

Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara

to Pain se mar jayega.

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Joke #34890 posted in the category: Ajit jokes.

Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.

Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko

teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez

hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko

panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly

fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to ’no-smoking’ area

hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb ’tic tic tic tic’ karke bajega. Aur iska

dil ’tup tup tup’ karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge

to tumko ’tic tup tic tup tic tup’ suanaai dega”

Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit

bhi jayega

Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?

Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?

Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!

Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...

Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.

Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do... phir woh do

ghadi ka mehman ho jayega!

Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...

Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare

door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett

(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee... on.. off.. on.. off

Raabert: Boss.. hamara signal kya hoga?

Ajeet: bewkoof... off.. on.. off.. on...

Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?

Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene

nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

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Joke #34891 posted in the category: Ajit jokes.

Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?

Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein

ticket dete-dete thak jayega.

Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen?

Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do... BIT by BIT marega!

Robert: aur boss.. iska kya karen?

Ajeet: Ise hamlet poison khilado... sochta rahega, to be or not to be!

Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy

Ajeet: ”Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish

bhi aa jaayegi.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.

Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy

Ajeet: ”Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko

Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.

Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole

and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed!

Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga??

Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out

lik do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale

jayega!!

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Joke #34892 posted in the category: Ajit jokes.

Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.

Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....

A pause.....

Tum chootti le lo.

Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the ”Boss”.....

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..

Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter....

Raabert: boss or doosre ka?

Ajeet: Repeater.

Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the ”Boss”.....

Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?

Ajeet: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.

Raabert: Teesra ka naam ”Wang Chung” kiu boss???!!!

Ajeet: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi... is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har

teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.

Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.

Raabert: Stool, boss?

Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.

Scene: Ajeet get’s hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.

Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara

rang laga do.

Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?

Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise

range haathon pakad legi. he he he....

Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar... Raabert spots a peacock...

Raabert: Boss.... more.. more...

Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...

Ajeet: Nomore!

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Joke #34893 posted in the category: Ajit jokes.

Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen?

Ajeet: ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide

hua hai.

Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...

Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.

Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.

Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.

Robert: kyu boss?

Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena

Mickey Mouse: Ajit, Muzhe Ramayan padhnee hai.

Ajeet: Raabert, isse wall peh chipka do

Raabert: yeh kyon baas?

Ajeet: Taaki yeh waal-mickey kehlaygaa aur usse Ramayan apne aap samazh me ayegee!

Scene: Ajit murders a man.

Ajeet: Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.

Raabert: kyon baas?

Ajeet: Fill it, shut it, forget it!

Boss: Raabert!

Rab: Yes, bass?

Boss: Yeh ”bus” mei kuch hawa daal do.

Rab: Lekin, kyon bass?

Boss: Yeh bus ”Airbus” ban jayega.

Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.

Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.

Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona da.. arrling’s typing.

Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.

Raabert: Magar kyoon baas?

Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

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Joke #34894 posted in the category: Ajit jokes.

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