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American Football jokes


A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium he’s closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, ”Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The man says no.

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, ”This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?”

The man replies, ”Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together at since we got married in 1965.”

Well, that’s really sad,” says Bob, ”but still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?” No,” the man replies, ”they’re all at the funeral.”

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Joke #9454 posted in the category: American Football jokes.

One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, ”Sorry, pal. No pets allowed.”

The man replied, ”This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see.” The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, ”Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips.” The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

”Wow! That’s one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?” asked the bartender.

The man replied, ”I don’t know. I’ve only had him for seven years.”

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Joke #10537 posted in the category: American Football jokes.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.” I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.” What do you mean?” he asked.” Well, everyone kept yelling, ’Get the quarter back!’ ”

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Joke #18353 posted in the category: American Football jokes.

Q: How many American Football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester’s credit for it!

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Joke #19570 posted in the category: American Football jokes.

[Original--many ideas thought up after watching tonight’s (4/29) game. ]
Top ten proposed improvements for World League American Football for 1992
10. After ``big plays,” pictures of players and what they really do for a living.
9. Winner of World Bowl plays NCAA division I runner-up.
8. Two expansion teams: the North Dakota Boredom and the Idaho Oat Bran.
7. Fans allowed to participate on 4th down.
6. Bodacious-bouncing-cheerleader-cam.
5. Homer Simpson will be the announcer for the Monday night game.
4. ``Fan-appreciation” night where the first 40, 000 fans at any US home game get a free beer.
3. Use of wrestling referees who ”miss vital calls.”
2. Football-cam (now you can see the action at the source! )
1. Pre-season WLAF.

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Joke #63140 posted in the category: American Football jokes.

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