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The train was packed, and the U. S. Marine Walked the entire length looking for a seat, but a Middle-aged, French woman’s poodle took the Only seat remaining. The Marine asked, ”Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, ”Americans are so rude. My Fifi is using that seat.”

The Marine walked the train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

”Please ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.”

She snorted, ”Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”

The Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little Dog, tossed it out the window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, ”Someone must defend my honor! Put this American In his place!”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, ”Sir, you Americans have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road.

And now, you seem to have throw

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Joke #425 posted in the category: American jokes.

very nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant.

The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari.

The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.

The American book - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants.

The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants.

The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money.

The Finnish book - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People.

The German book - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-

6.

The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant.

The Swiss book - Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants.

The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?

The Swedish book - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.

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Joke #755 posted in the category: American jokes.

An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. ”This is the breast of the duck; this the leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc.” Then came the dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited for the explanation. Silence. ”Well?” he finally asked, ”What’s this?” The waiter replied, ”It’s a friend of duck.”

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Joke #953 posted in the category: American jokes.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings which gave him all the milk. After five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.

Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it’s cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it’s cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund opened it’s mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite.

There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. ”We don’t understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves.”

”That’s nothing”, an American replied. ”We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

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Joke #1706 posted in the category: American jokes.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if

they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog

fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and

which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing

side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the

world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only

the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave

him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up

with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.

Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get

near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a

strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the

Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last

ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly

waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of

its cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to

bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the

Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at the entire Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. ’We

don’t understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working

for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and

the biggest meanest Siberian wolves.”

”That’s nothing”, an American replied. ”We had our best plastic surgeons

working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

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Joke #1741 posted in the category: American jokes.

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