Funny Jokes db

Funny jokes for every day

Answering Machine Message jokes


Hello, I’m not here right now. In fact, I’m out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I’ll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

-0+

Joke #5888 posted in the category: Answering Machine Message jokes.

”Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.

-1+

Joke #18303 posted in the category: Answering Machine Message jokes.

If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.

-0+

Joke #19185 posted in the category: Answering Machine Message jokes.

French monologue in the background: Around the world today, millions still speak French as either a first or second language. But with your continued support and help, we can wipe out French in our lifetime. Please leave a message in English at the tone, and remember, if someone tries to speak French to you, just say, ”non”.

-0+

Joke #23354 posted in the category: Answering Machine Message jokes.

(Classical music: ) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket: ) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence... ) Any message?

-0+

Joke #26184 posted in the category: Answering Machine Message jokes.

Next page »
© Copyright 2017 funnydb.netfunny jokestop jokesbest jokes for everyone