An airline captain was breaking in an Antartian as a stewardess.
The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.
”You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, ”Why not?”
The stewardess replied, ”There are only three doors in here,” she cried, ”one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ”Do Not Disturb!!”
Two Antartians were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announces, ”One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry, we have three engines left.”
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announces, ”One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don’t worry, we have two engines left.”
An hour later, the Captain announces, ”One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don’t worry, we have one engine left.”
One Antartian looked at the other and said, ”If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
A group of Antarticans walk into a bar and they seem to be celebrating something. All of them are repeating ”32 days, 32 days” with much excitement. The bartender being curious asks, ”What’s so special about 32 days?” ”Well,” One of the blonds said, ”We just finished putting a puzzle together, it only took us 32 days, and the box said 3-4 years!-0+
An Antartian woman came into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then she started to yell, ”Yeah!” ”Yeah!” Then five more Antartians came in and started to do the same thing. Then three more Antartians came in and one of them had a Barney puzzle. The bartender asked one of them, ”Why are you yelling ’yeah yeah!’ ?” Then one responded, ”We did this puzzle in three hours and it says 2-3 years.”-0+
One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Budweisers.
The passenger, Bubba, said ”Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it’s a po-leece roadbloack! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!”
Don’t worry Bubba,” Earl said. ”We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on out forheads, then throw the bottles under the seat.”
”What fer?” asked Bubba.
”Just let me do the talkin’, okay?” said Earl.
They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, ”Have you boys been drinking?”
”No sir,” said Earl, ”We’re on the patch.”