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Auto Racing jokes


A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Winston Cup race is on a TV.

He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt is doing. The bartender says ”Earnhardts is in 25th”. The dog jumps up, and runs around

the barstool 25 times. A couple of laps later, the bartender says ”Earnhardt is up to 10th”. The dog jumps up again and runs around

the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says ”Earnhardt is up to 3rd”,

after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times

The bartender says ”WOW!! That dog is amazing!! What does he do if

Earnhardt wins?”

”I don’t know”, says the man, ”I’ve only had him for 2 years!”

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Joke #10539 posted in the category: Auto Racing jokes.

You think the last four words of the National Anthem are ”Gentleman start your engines!” ....

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can’t remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary....

You’ve ever written Richard Petty’s name on a presidential ballot....

You think heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida....

You have the word NASCAR in your wedding vows....

You go to a stock car race and don’t need a program....

You know who is actually leading the Cup series....

Your favorite NASCAR souvenir was a direct result of a crash in turn three....

You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights....

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are....

You think the most effective form of advertising is on the side of a car going 200 mph..... round and round and round....

You’re not actually able to read The Richard Petty Story, but you sure do like to look at the pictures....

Your wife’s nickname is ”Lugnut”

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Joke #30145 posted in the category: Auto Racing jokes.

10) The number of times you get hit in a pileup is directly proportional to the number of times you said ”I think it will go ok today”.

9) You only get the lead when you need fuel.

8) If a tire can go on the wrong side, it will.

7) A part will never break during a test session, only during a race.

6) The driver behind you is always the one you punted last week.

5) The part you left at the shop is the one you need.

4) The number of laps remaining is always one more than the amount of fuel left in the car.

3) Your good car will get wrecked, your bad car will finish the race, two laps down.

2) The concrete wall is harder at the tracks you wreck at.

1) A 10-car pileup will never happen *behind* you!

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Joke #127200 posted in the category: Auto Racing jokes.

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