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Customer ServiceI’m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.

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Joke #12489 posted in the category: Bank jokes.

The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, ”Can you float alone?” ”Obviously,” the banker replied, ”but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”

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Joke #12490 posted in the category: Bank jokes.

The old native American wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, ”What are you going to do with the money?” ”Take jewellery to city and sell it,” was the response.” What have you got for collateral?” ”Don’t know collateral.” ”Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?” ”Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup.” The banker shook his head, ”How about livestock?” ”Yes, I have a horse.” ”How old is it?” ”Don’t know, has no teeth.” Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, ”Here to pay.” he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.” What are you going to do with the rest of that money?” ”Put in tepee.” ”Why don’t you deposit it in my bank,” he asked.” Don’t know deposit.” ”You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.” The old Indian leaned across the desk, ”What you got for collateral?”

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Joke #14409 posted in the category: Bank jokes.

Insufficient FundsA young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. ”Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” ”I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad.” You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.” ”What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” he said. ”there must be some mistake.” ”I don’t think so,” she sniffed. ”They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, `Insufficient Funds`.”

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Joke #14497 posted in the category: Bank jokes.

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of

money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a

savings account because, ”It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing,

the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office.

The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She

replied, ”$165, 000!” and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The

president was, of course, curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he

asked her, ”Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around. Where did

you get this money?” The old lady replied, ”I make bets.”

The president then asked, ”Bets? What kind of bets?” The old woman said,

”Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25, 000 that your balls are square.” ”Ha!”

laughed the president, ”That’s a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of

bet!” The old lady challenged, ”So, would you like to take my bet?” ”Sure,” said

the president, ”I’ll bet $25, 000 that my balls are not square!” The little old

lady then said, ”Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring

my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10: 00 am as a witness?” ”Sure!” replied the

confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long

time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again

and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was

absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10 am, the little old lady appeared with

her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer to the president

and repeated the bet: ”$25, 000 says the president’s balls are square!” The

president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants

so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered

closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. ”Well, Okay,” said

the president,” $25, 000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely

sure.”

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head

against the wall. The president asked the old lady, ”What the hell’s the matter

with your lawyer?” She replied, ”Nothing, except I bet him $50, 000 that at 10 am

today, I’d have the president of the Bank of Canada’s balls in my hand.”

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Joke #14573 posted in the category: Bank jokes.

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