At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, ”Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
”Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
”So,” the coach continued, ”when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
”Good,” said the coach. ”Now go over there and explain it to your mother.”
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, ”You can’t bring that dog in here.” ”You don’t understand,” says the man. ”This is no regular dog, he can talk.” ”Listen, pal,” says the bartender. ”If that dog can talk, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.” The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, ”What’s on top of a house?” ”Roof!” ”Right. And what’s on the outside of a tree?” ”Bark!” ”And who’s the greatest baseball player of all time?” ”Ruth!” ”I guess you`ve heard enough,” says the man. ”I’ll take the hundred in twenties.” The bartender is furious. ”Listen, pal,” he says, ”get out of here before I belt you.” As soon as they`re on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, ”Do you think I should have said `DiMaggio`?”-0+
A man walks into a bar where the patrons are laughing together.
”What’s so funny?” he asks.
The bartender answers, ”Oh, we’re just taking the names of our hometown baseball teams and tweaking them so they come out badly.”
”Here’s mine,” says a woman at the bar, ”The New York Yank-Me’s!”
”Mine’s the Houston Disastros!” says another bar patron.
”The Seattle Moroners!”
”The Chicago Flubs!”
The bartender looks at the new guy and says, ”So how can you change your home squad’s name so that it sounds like a joke of a team?”
The man looks up at the bartender sadly and sighs, ”Oh, that’s easy; you can just call them the Detroit Tigers.”
Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.
The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, ”What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?”
”Well,” said the officer. ”I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole.”