There is a bicycle seller who persuades his bicycle to a breeder.
The breeder says ”I would like to buy a cow than a bicycle”.
The seller says ”but it will be embarrassing if you ride your cow to a market”.
The breeder then says ”but it will be more embarrassing if I squeeze a bicycle”.
The seller ”...?”
A man on a bike, carrying two sacks on his shoulders, was stopped by a guard while crossing the US-Mexican border.
”What’s in the bags?” asked the guard.
”Sand,” the cyclist replied.
”Get them off. We need to take a look.”
The guard emptied the bags and found out they contained nothing but sand. The man reloaded his bags and continued across the border.
A week later, the same man was crossing again with two more bags.
The guard demanded to see them, and again they contained nothing but sand.
This continued every week for six months, until one day the cyclist failed to appear.
A few days later, that same guard ran into the cyclist in the city.
”Hey, where have you been?” the guard asked. ”You sure had us wondering! We knew you were smuggling something across the border. So tell me and I won’t say a word. What was it?”
The man smiled and told him the truth. ”Bicycles!”
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, ”Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid replies, ”Yeah.”
The cop says, ”Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike.”
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20. 00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, ”By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humoring the kid, the cop says, ”Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid continued, ”Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”