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Bill Clinton jokes

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says ”What’s wrong with Schlitz, don’t you like it?” The man says, ”I hate that shit. Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, ”You drink a case of any beer you’re going to blow chunks.” ”You don’t understand;” says the man, ”Chunks is my dog.”


Joke #120 posted in the category: Bill Clinton jokes.

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one

night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what

had happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the

car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all

ripped and torn.

”What happened to you?” asked Bill.

”Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and

his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me.”

”My God, what did you tell them?” asks Clinton.

The driver replies, ”I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”


Joke #150 posted in the category: Bill Clinton jokes.

Q: Why don’t bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.


Joke #151 posted in the category: Bill Clinton jokes.

When Bill Clinton was the president, he went on a one week vacation. He came back on a private helicopter that landed on White House property. There were guards standing, well, guard next to the helicopter. As the President got off, one of the guards realized that he had two pigs, one under each arm. The guard said, ” Nice pigs, sir.” The President replied,

” These are not PIGS! These are genuine razor-back hogs! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea.” The guard corrected himself by saying, ” Nice trade, sir!”


Joke #526 posted in the category: Bill Clinton jokes.

The sky was dark

The moon was high

All alone

Just her and I

Her hair so soft

Her eyes so blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine

I didn’t know how

But I tried my best

To place my hand

On her breasts

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart

And when she did it

I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came

At last it’s finished

It’s all over now

My first time

Milking a cow!


Joke #719 posted in the category: Bill Clinton jokes.

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