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This is a secret that Joe once told me...

About a year ago Joe wanted to go to south California, and because of lack of means he decided to hitch hike. So, Joe is walking along side the road for about three hours and the sun is blazing down on him and he starts to think ”why did I choose to do this, this sucks ass”.

Just after that thought, a truck pulled up in front of him.

Joe ran up to the cab, popped open the door and said. ”Hey, how far south you headed?”

The trucker answered, ”Just about another five hundred miles, do you want to ride with me?”

Of course Joe was like hell yeah, so he hopped up in the cab. The trucker starts pulling back onto the road and Joe puts his seat belt on.

Then Joe notices this strange little monkey sitting on the seat between him and the driver. He thought it was a little strange for a trucker to have a pet monkey, but didn’t question the trucker. About twenty miles down the road from where Joe was picked up the trucker finally started a conversation with him.

Trucker says, ”Hey, you wanna see something cool?”

Joe replies, ”yeah, sure”.

SMACK! , the trucker wacked the monkey upside the head. The monkey jumped up, crawled on the truckers lap, unzipped his pants and starting sucking him off. The trucker got off and was done so the monkey sat back down between him and Joe.

The trucker turns to Joe, ”Hey ya wanna give that a try?”

Joe replies, ”Yeah, but you won’t have to hit me as hard!”

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Joke #5500 posted in the category: Blowjob jokes.

A man walks into a bar with a dog and asks the bartender if he’d like to buy

the dog for $900. The bartenders says, ”It’s just an ugly mongrel, why would I

want to pay $900 for it?”

The guy says, ”This dog is specially trained to give blow jobs and he will do

it on command as many times as you like. You’ll notice he has no teeth and let

me tell you, it’s the best BJ you’ll ever get.”

”Sold”, yells the bartender as he empties the register and takes the dog

home.

Two days later the guy walks back in the bar and the bartender is there

with the dog. The bartender grabs the guy by the shirt and says, ”This dog can’t

give BJ’s. I want my money back”!!!

The guy says, ”There must be some type of problem, let’s go in your back

room”. Once there, the guy tells the bartender to drop his pants.

The guy then turns to the dog and says ”OK Rover. I’m going to show you how to

do this ONE MORE TIME......

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Joke #7549 posted in the category: Blowjob jokes.

3 guys walk into a bar. While sitting at the bar they overhear other customers talking about the blowjob machine in the bathroom. All three eventually make their way to the washroom. Sure enough there is a hole in the wall waist height with a sign saying ”blowjob machine” for only $5. Later on in the night the 3 men get together and talk, all noticing the grins on eachothers face:

the first man says ”so, I tried the blowjob machine, it was great”

the second man says ”ya, it was the best I’ve ever had”

the 2 look at the third guy, noticing the extended grin on his face and say ”boy, u must have really enjoyed it, you look very satisfied”.....

... he says ”Nope, I’m just smiling because I made $10”

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Joke #10136 posted in the category: Blowjob jokes.

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND WITH A SLIGHT HESITATION ASKS THE BARTENDER ”WHAT’S THE STRONGEST WHISKEY YOU HAVE” THE BARTENDER REPLIED ”JACK DANIELS”. THE MAN SAID ” THAT’S FINE, I’LL TAKE FIVE SHOTS...” THE BARTENDER SAID ” MAN, YOU MUST BE CELEBRATING....” THE MAN REPLIED ” I GUESS YOU CAN SAY THAT....” THE BARTENDER ASKED ”WELL, SON, WHAT YA CELEBRATING?” THE MAN SAID ”MY FIRST BLOWJOB...” THE BARTENDER SAID ” HELL, SON, I’LL GIVE YOU A SHOT ON THE HOUSE...” THE MAN REPLIED ”NO.... NO THANKS....” THE BARTENDER SAID ” WELL, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM...?” THE MAN REPLIED ” WELL, IF THESE FIRST FIVE SHOTS DON’T TAKE THAT TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH.. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL......”

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Joke #10481 posted in the category: Blowjob jokes.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a lemon dropper. Not

seeming thrilled with the first one he orders another one,

Drinks it, and orders yet another one. After ordering 6 lemon

droppers, The bar tender approches him and asks ”Sir you seem to

be celebrating something, what seems to be the occasion?” The

guys looks at him and says ”My first blowjob”.

The bar tender congratulates him on his accomplishment and

says ”have another dropper on the house”. The guy looks at him

and replys ”Thank You but if 6 lemon droppers doesn’t get the

taste out of my mouth then I don’t think the 7th will ehter”.

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Joke #10525 posted in the category: Blowjob jokes.

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