Boudreaux Moves to Ireland
Boudreaux walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, ”You know Boudreaux, a pint goes flat after I pour it; wouldn’t you rather I pour fresh pints for you, one at a time?” Boudreaux replies: ”Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is now in Nova Scotia, and the other, in France, and me, mais I’m from Louisiana. When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Boudreaux becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers. When Boudreaux goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, ”Hey Boudreaux, I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.” Boudreaux looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs and says: ”Oh, no, no, no, arrybody’s ’s fine. I’ve just given up beer for Lent.”
Boudreaux at the hunting camp with 3 buddies, drinking beer and playing bouree. We’ll call them: Thibodeaux, Gauthreaux, and Fontenot. ”Boudreaux ”, says Fontenot, ”You coming hunt them bear with us in the morn?” Boudreaux, the excellent hunter that he is, says,” Non, I think I’ll go alone; I hunt better that way”. So, in the morning when everyone else woke to go on the hunt, there was ole Boudreaux, returning from his hunt with a big black bear. There was only ONE bullet hole on the bear, right between the eyes. ”Damn, you are a good shot”, says Thibodeaux, who is leaving to go hunting. ”Yep, one shot - that’s all it took”says Boudreaux,” I told you!” Well, they came back later that day without a single bear. That night, the same routine; beer and bouree. Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux if he’ll go on the hunt with them in the morn. Again, Boudreaux says ”No, I hunt better alone.” So, in the morn all 3 guys are leaving for the hunt when Boudreaux is returning with a bear. Again, only ONE bullet hole between the eyes. Gauthreaux, not believing what he’s seeing, exclaims ”Boudreaux, how you do it with one shot? You can’t be that good, huh?” Well, the same thing happens later that day; they return without a single bear. The next morning Boudreaux returns with a bear as the other 3 are leaving for their hunt. But, this time, there were 3 bullet holes on the bear; one in between the eyes, one in the left paw, and one in the right paw. Gauthreaux, seeing the three bullet holes, exclaims, ”Uh huh, I knew you couldn’t do it three times in a row with one bullet; I knew you wasn’t that good!!” Boudreaux, remaining calm, says ”No man, all it took was one shot - that’s it!! You see, it was pretty dark when I shot him. I put my flashlight up like that and shined it at his eyes. When he saw the light, he put both his hands over his eyes to cover them, and that’s when I shot.”-0+
Boudreaux is walking down the road when he’s approached by his friend, Thibodeaux, who is carrying a very long bamboo fishing pole, and a yardstick. They stop and talk awhile, when Thibodeaux stands the pole straight up in the air, and attempts to reach the very top with the yardstick. Seeing it won’t work, ole Boudreaux yanks the pole from Thibodeaux’s hands, lays it on the sidewalk and measures it. ”There you go; it’s 12 feet long”, says Boudreaux. Thibodeaux, upset and very irritated, grabs the yardstick and yells to Boudreaux,” You fool!! I don’t want to know how long it is!! I want to know how high it is!-0+
Circle of Life
Boudreaux is driving down the big road in Houston, Texas, when all of a sudden this big ole Texan cuts him off and forces Boudreaux to the shoulder where Boudreaux immediately gets out his Country Cadillac (pick-up truck) and walks up to the Texan and begans screaming at the guy. The Texan, remaining calm, politely goes to his trunk, and pulls out a tire tool. He bends over and draws a circle in the concrete on the shoulder of the Interstate and tells Boudreaux to get in the circle and DON’T get out. Well, the Texan walks over to Boudreaux’s pick-up truck and bashes in his tail lights. Looking at Boudreaux, the Texan sees him laughing hard. Getting even more frustated, the Texan bashes in the back glass. Looking over at Boudreaux again, he sees him lying on the ground, rolling from laughing so hard. This really gets the Texan upset, so he bashes in the front windshield, the headlights, and the mirrors. Walking over to where Boudreaux was at, in the circle, he still sees ole Boudreaux on the ground, laughing so hard that he’s turning blue in the face. Not understanding why, the Texan says to Boudreaux, ” Man, I bash in your windows, and you laugh; I bash in your tail lights, and you laugh; I bash in your windshield, mirrors and headlights, and you can barely breathe because you’re laughing so hard. What the hell is wrong with you?” Finally catching his breath, Boudreaux says, ”You fool; you Texans think you’re so much better than us; you know what? When you wasn’t looking, I got out that circle three times!!