A man is caught by cannibals. To escape the Island of Cannibals he has to
survive 3 tents. In the first tent is ten bottle of Vodka. In the second tent
there is a tiger with a toothache. In the third tent he has to sexually pleasure
So he goes into the first tent and about 10 minutes later comes out so drunk
that he is about to pass out. He goes into the second tent. For about 20 minutes
you here the man screaming and getting scratched. He comes out and he says:
”Where’s the lady with the toothache?”
There were three men who were lost in the forest.
They were then captured by cannibals.
The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial.
First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.
So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, ”I brought ten apples.”
The king then explains the trial to him. ”You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you’ll be eaten.”
The first apple went in.. but on the second one he winced out in pain, so the savages fell upon him and devoured him.
The second one arrives and shows the king his ten fruits were berries.
When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself, that this should be easy. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... on the ninth berry he suddenly burst out in laughter.
Summarily he was rended limb from limb and eaten.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven.
The first one asked, ”Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?”
The second one replied, ”I couldn’t help it.. I looked up and saw that the third guy coming with an armload of watermelons.”
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, ”You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender Missionary. I’ve baked them, I’ve roasted them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve barbecued them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender.”
The second cannibal asks, ”What kind of Missionary do you use?”
The other replied, ”You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they’re sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”
”Ah, ha!” the second cannibal replies. ”No wonder... those are friars!”
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man
who had recently passed away. One cannibal says, ”Look at this! You start
at the feet and I’ll start at the head and we’ll meet in the middle.” So
the two cannibals start eating. After a half an hour one stops eating,
looks up and says, ”I don’t know about you, but this is great! How are you
doing?” The other cannibal answers, ”This is great! I’m havin’ a ball!”
The other cannibal says, ”Hey, slow down, you’re eating too fast!”