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Carpenter jokes


A carpenter drops his saw from the roof of the house he’s working on. It cuts off the ear of the Polish guy working below him. The Polak climbs down and asks, ”Has any one seen my ear, I had a pencil in it?”

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Joke #24662 posted in the category: Carpenter jokes.

Yo mama’s like a carpenter’s dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.

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Joke #42471 posted in the category: Carpenter jokes.

A priest and a carpenter were on the roof of the church repairing it. The carpenter hit his thumb and excalimed, ”Damn it! I missed!” The priest looked at him and said,” You know one of these days God will strike you down.” The carpenter appologized, and went back to work. A few minutes later, The carpenter hit his thumb and excalimed, ”Damn it! I missed!” The priest looked at him and said,” You know one of these days God will strike you down.” the carpenter again appologized, and went back to work. a few minutes later, He hit his thumb again, and yelled,” Damn it! I missed” Before the priest could say anything, a bolt of lightning hit the priest. as the carpenter looked around, he heard a voice say,” Damn it! I missed!”

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Joke #59330 posted in the category: Carpenter jokes.

Don and Dan were carpenters who specialized in the installation of laths for plasterers. They were different as cheese and chalk. Don would nail as fast as he could, not too carefully, while Dan was slow and methodical, insisting on painstaking detail so the work would stand a long time.

A prospective customer inspected the work of both men and questioned previous employers. He discovered that while Don worked for less wages, his work was not perfect. Dan who practiced permanency was the best. Dan was hired because the householder realized that... he whose laths last, laths best.

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Joke #64254 posted in the category: Carpenter jokes.

A priest, a carpenter, and an army man all go up in a plane. The priest says lets all throw something out the window. So the priest starts by throwing a bible out the window. Then the carpenter throws a hammer out the window. Then the army man decides to throw a gernade out the window.

After they throw everything out window the priest goes down to see what happened. He goes up to a kid that is crying and asks him what happened. He says a bible fell down and hit him. Then the priest goes up to another kid thats crying and he asks what happend. The kid says a bible hit him. Then the priest goes up to an old man sitting in a lawn chair laughing and asks what happened.

The grandpa says I just farted and the building behind me blew up!

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Joke #64301 posted in the category: Carpenter jokes.

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