Jim Finn, the noted biologist, was stumped. He’d spent months studying the little green frogs in the Keefo swamp. The population, despite all efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate.
Finally, Finn went to the chemistry department at his college to see if anyone there might be able to help. Tom Trom looked into the problem, and came up with a solution. The little frogs had succumbed to a chemical change in the swamp’s water, and simply couldn’t stay coupled long enough to reproduce. Tom brewed up a new adhesive, made from a dash of this, a zoss of that, and most critically, one part sodium.
”You mean?.... ” Jim said when told.
”Yes,” said Tom, ”They needed mono-sodium glue to mate.”
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
”Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. ”Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, ”Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
REAL CHEMISTRY NAMES OF REAL PEOPLE
Gold J. of North Carolina
Silver J. of North Carolina
Argon C. of Guam
Florine J. of Tennessee
Clorine J. of Maryland
Benzena J. of South Carolina
Ethyl J. of Ohio
Ether J. of Tennessee
Methyl S. of Maine
Methane M. of Alabama