Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Albert Camus: It doesn’t matter; the chicken’s actions have no meaning except to him.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2001, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Martin Luther King Jr. : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy
Jack Nicholson: ’cause it f******g wanted to. That’s the f******g reason.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Plato: For the greater good.
The Pope: That is only for God to know.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
Barry Scheck: Were you there? WERE YOU?? Did you see that chicken cross that road? Well?? DID YOU???
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, ”What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
Homer Simpson: Mmmmmm. Chicken.
O. J. Simpson: Absolutely one-hundred percent unsure.
B. F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, ”Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, ”Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
Louise Woodward: Because it wouldn’t shut up!! SHUT UP!!