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I went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch yesterday and ordered soup called ”Cream of Sum Yung Boi.”

Then Chris Hansen walked out from behind the corner and asked me to explain myself.

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Joke #466 posted in the category: Chinese jokes.

An old mouse chanced to see a cat wearing a few beads round her neck. ”Ah,” said the mouse with joy, ”that cat has turned vegetarian.” Thereupon, he brought his offspring along to pay a call on the cat to express their gratitude. No sooner had they appeared than the cat gave a deep howl and devoured several mice in rapid succession. The old mouse turned tail in the nick of time and made good his escape. Sticking out his tongue, he cried: ”My, my! That pussy is even more ferocious after turning vegetarian.”

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Joke #5591 posted in the category: Chinese jokes.

A chinese man walks into a shop with a parrot on his shoulder, and the shopkeeper says,

?” Blimey, where did you get that?” .

And the parrot says,

”China, there’s loads of ’em there”.

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Joke #5648 posted in the category: Chinese jokes.

During the Sui Dynasty (581-618), there lived a clever man who spoke with a slight stutter. Whenever the Minister Yang Su felt bored and listless, he would invite this man over to have a chat. One evening toward the close of the year when they sat facing each other, Yang asked him more in jest than in earnest: ” Supposing you find yourself in a pit ten feet deep and ten feet in circumference, how would you get out?”

The man lowered his head, meditating for some time, and asked: ” Is there a 1-1-ladder?”

”No,” replied Yang. ” I wouldn’t have asked you if there were a ladder.”

Again the man lowered his head meditating. Some time later, he inquired: ” In br-br-broad daylight? Or at n-n-night?”

” No need to ask whether it’s in broad daylight or at night,” replied Yang.” The question is how would you get out.”

” I’m not blind,” reported the man. ” If it isn’t after night-fall, how the hell could I fall into it?”

At that Yang burst out laughing and followed up with another question: ” Supposing you were a general sent to a small city besieged by an enemy tens of thousands strong. The garrison there numbered less than one thousand, and the provisions would suffice only for a few days. What would you do?”

The man hung down his head, pondering over the problem for a long time. Then he asked: ” Any re-reinforcements for-forthcoming?”

” No, ” replied Yang, ” that’s why I asked you.”

After muttering to himself for a good while, the man raised his head and said: ” If the situation is as you said, I’m afraid we’re just about done for.”

At that Yang burst into laughter again and then put to the man the last question: ” I know you’re a very capable man and there’s scarcely anything you can’t do. It so happened that someone in my family got bitten today by a snake. Will you see to the snake bite?”

” Well,” said the man in response,” go to the south wall and get hold of some s-snow which fell on the fifth day of the fifth moon. Ap-apply it to the bite, and he’ll get well in no time.”

” But,” protested Yang, ” it never snows in the fifth moon.”

” No,” the man agreed. ” In the twelfth moon, where can you find a snake that bites?”

Much amused by his remarks, Yang Su let the man go.

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Joke #6411 posted in the category: Chinese jokes.

a man walks into a bar and says i want a beer with a side o f a coke the chinese waitergoes and pees in the coke and comes back with the coke and beer the guy takes a sip of coke and sprays it out in disgust and the waiter dances around chanting me chinese me no joke me go peepee in your coke this happens to two more people before a cowboy comes in same thing happens and after the chinese man gets done with his little chant of his the cowboy pulls him by the colar and whispers into his ear me cowboy me shoot fast me shott bulets up your____

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Joke #7586 posted in the category: Chinese jokes.

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