An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
”Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, ”I’m going to wash my dog.”
”But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog,” said the grocer. ”It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
”Oh, he died,” the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry, but added, ”I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”
”Well, the boy replied, ”I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”
”Oh? What was it then?”
”I think it was the spin cycle!”
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, ”Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, ”It’s my dog. Why?” ”Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, ”I believe my dog just killed it, sir.” ”What?” roared the big man in disbelief. ”What in the world kind of dog do you have?” ”Sir,” answered the little man, ”it’s a little four week old female puppy.” ”Bull!” roared the biker, ”how could your puppy kill my Doberman?” ”It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”
A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice ”JESUS is watching you”. He looks around with his flashlight wandering ”What The HELL Was That?” . He spots some $ on a table and takes it...... Once again he hears a voice ” JESUS is watching you”. He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks ” Was that your voice?” . It said ”YES”. He then says ”What’s your name?” . It says ”MOSES”. The burglar says ” What kind of person names his bird moses??” The parrot replys ”THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER ”JESUS”.-0+
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says ”Humm, buffalo come”. The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, ”I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come”? and the Indian replies, ”ear sticky”.-0+
A Man Walks Into A Pub And There’s A Donkey Behind The Bar, the Man Says, ”alrite Brian” (he Guessed The Donkeys Name), The Donkey Says ”alrite Mate”. The Man Says ”i’ll Have A Pint Of Bitter”, The Donkeys Says ”right Mate”, Took About 5 Minutes To Pour It Because Of His Hooves, Not Being Able To Hold The Pint Glass, He Says ”pint Of Bitter Was It?” the Man Says ”yes Mate”, The Donkey Says ”eeeyyoorrr Then”-0+