Funny Jokes db

Funny jokes for every day

College jokes


Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. ”Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, ”Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

The baby stork says, ”No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

-8+

Joke #149 posted in the category: College jokes.

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.

”Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, ”What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,

”Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

-0+

Joke #810 posted in the category: College jokes.

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on ’Observation’. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. ”This”, he explained, ”is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste.” After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. ”If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth.”

-0+

Joke #1726 posted in the category: College jokes.

A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so shall you.......... mess it up.

Better be safe than...................... punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the.............................. bug is close.

It’s always darkest before............ daylight savings time.

You can lead a horse to water but....................... how?

Don’t bite the hand that........................ looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a................................... Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new......................... math.

If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll.. stink in the morning.

The pen is mightier than the........................... pigs.

An idle mind is....................... the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke, there’s...................... pollution.

Happy the bride who................... gets all the presents.

A penny saved is................................... not much.

Two’s company, three’s....................... the musketeers.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you,

cry and.......................... you have to blow your nose.

Children should be seen and not......... spanked or grounded.

When the blind leadeth the blind......... get out of the

-0+

Joke #5970 posted in the category: College jokes.

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the ”Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.

Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

”Well,” she explained, ”up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.

”In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?”

-0+

Joke #6532 posted in the category: College jokes.

Next page »
© Copyright 2017 funnydb.netfunny jokestop jokesbest jokes for everyone