A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, ”If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, ”If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, ”If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I’ll stay with you and do *Anything* you want.” Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, ”What is it? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful Princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won’t you kiss me?
The boy said, ”Look I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.”
One day two drinking buddies Jim and David were working on aircraft at JFK airport in NYC. They got fogged in and finished up their work early and were sitting around bored. Jim spoke up ”Man I really need a drink! ” in response David replied, ”You know I heard a rumor you could drink jet fuel and get drunk. ” ”Really? ” said Jim ”That’s what I heard man. Do you wanna try it? ” Said David ”Sure, hell I’ll try anything once! ” Said Jim. SO with that they poured themselves a couple of glasses and began drinking the jet fuel. They sipped a little bit to find it actually tasted quiet good. so they drank more and more and sure enough they got stoned drunk. The next morning Jim awoke feeling like a million bucks he jumped up wet to the bathroom feeling great like he was floating on air he hadn’t felt this good in years. ”Wow!! ” He said. About that time his telephone rang. ”Hello? ” Jim Said ”Hello Jim? Came the reply ”This is David man. How are you feeling this morning? ” Jim said ”Man I feel great no hang over not sick man I feel like a million bucks. How about you? ” David replied” Me too man, but I have one question for you. ” Jim said, ”Sure man what is it” ”Have you farted yet man? ” Jim said ”Ummmmm No. Why? ” ”Man don’t. I’m in Phoenix! ”.-0+