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Cricket jokes

If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other

hand, what would I have?

A bloody big cricket.


Joke #1949 posted in the category: Cricket jokes.

The insects were having their annual cricket match. The captain was a Grasshopper, who turned to the Cricket and said, ”Are you a bowler?”

”Of course,” said the Cricket. ”Who ever heard of a cricket bat?”


Joke #5363 posted in the category: Cricket jokes.

An Australian cricket fan dies on match day (probably from drinking too much) and goes to heaven in his Australian cricket shirt.

He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks Saint Peter.

’Hello mate,’ the Aussie says.

’No Australian cricket fans in heaven,’ replies Saint Peter.

’What?’ exclaims the man, astonished.

’You heard, no Australian cricket fans.’

’But, but, but, I’ve been a good man,’ replies the Aussie.

’Oh really,’ says Saint Peter. ’What have you done then?’

’Well, three weeks before I died I gave $10 to the starving children in Africa.’

’Oh,’ says Saint Peter, ’anything else?’

’Well, two weeks before I died I also gave $10 to the homeless.’

’Hmmm, anything else?’

’Yeah. A week before I died I gave $10 to the Albanian orphans.’

’OK,’ said Saint Peter, ’you wait here a minute while I have a word with the boss.’

Ten minutes pass before Saint Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, ’I’ve had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here’s your $30 back, now f*** off.’


Joke #9540 posted in the category: Cricket jokes.

Phone Call for Sehwag:

Indian Team Manager: ”Hello”(over Phone)

Wife: ”Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife.”

Indian Team Manager: ”Sorry, he is just going to bat”

Wife: ”No Problem Manager, I will Hold on”


Joke #18849 posted in the category: Cricket jokes.

1) Declaring the winner: If Pakistan bats first and scores x runs then the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1 runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs

for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.

2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.

3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,

Batting coach: Ravi Shastri

Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions): Chetan Sharma

Fielding Coach: Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)

TV Commercials Coach: Salman Khan

Video Coach: Name will be announced later

4) As the deadline to submit final 15 players for the 1999 World Cup is over, the result of the match on 18th April between 1983 Indian team and the current team will not have any bearing on the team going to England.

Any other suggestions are welcome. We at the ICC would like to ascertain again our commitment to spread the game of cricket globally, from Mozambique to Maldives and from Turkmenistan to Tibet.

Thanking You.

Yours Sincerely,

Jagmohan Dalmiya


Joke #23657 posted in the category: Cricket jokes.

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