There was the story of a young Irish vicar riding his bicycle down the path between towns where he would meet an elderly priest from another parish, and they would discuss matters daily, until one day the old priest noticed the vicar walking instead of riding and asked him ”What happened to your bicycle?”
The vicar explained that the bike was stolen.
”Well, then”, the old priest said, ”Next Sunday, do a sermon about the ten commandments and preach heavily on THOU SHALL NOT STEAL. Then you will surely get your bike back”. The vicar agreed and went off.
The next week, The two met again and this time the vicar was again riding his bicycle. ”See what I meant!” the Old Priest said. ”The power of the Word. The Ten Commandments, and Thou Shall not steal!”
The vicar responded, ”Well, not exactly, Father. I was preaching about the Ten Commandments, and I was all ready to preach heavy on ’Thou Shall Not Steal’, but when I got to ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, all of a sudden I remembered where me bike was!”
A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking one day and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.
”You were really lucky there,” said the cyclist.
”What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” said the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.
”Well, usually I drive a bus!” the cyclist replied.