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Dead and Dying jokes


A woman goes into a funeral home to make

arrangements

for her

husband’s funeral. She tells the director

that she wants her husband

to be buried in a dark blue

suit.

He asks, ”Wouldn’t it just be easier to bury him in the black

suit

that he’s wearing?”

But she insists that it must be a blue suit

and gives him a blank

check to buy one.

When she comes back

for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin

and he is wearing a

beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how

much she loves the

suit and asks how much it cost.

He says, ”Actually, it didn’t

cost anything. The funniest thing

happened. As soon as you left,

another corpse was brought in, this one

wearing a blue suit. I noticed

that they were about the same size, and

asked the other widow if she

would mind if her husband were buried in

a black suit. She said that

was fine with her. So... I switched the

heads.”

-8+

Joke #9174 posted in the category: Dead and Dying jokes.

”Do you

believe in life after

death?” the boss asked one of his employees.

”Yes, Sir,” the new

employee replied.

”Well, then, that makes everything just fine,”

the boss went on.

”After you left early yesterday to go to your

grandmother’s funeral, she

stopped in to see you.”

-0+

Joke #12657 posted in the category: Dead and Dying jokes.

There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song ”Hokey Pokey” died.

What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket.

They’d put his left leg in... well, you know the rest.

-0+

Joke #27232 posted in the category: Dead and Dying jokes.

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

-0+

Joke #29844 posted in the category: Dead and Dying jokes.

Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A: Because people are dying to get in.

-0+

Joke #33978 posted in the category: Dead and Dying jokes.

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