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Deep Thoughts jokes


Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

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Joke #1053 posted in the category: Deep Thoughts jokes.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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Joke #1054 posted in the category: Deep Thoughts jokes.

Animals-Pigs/SheepDo you think sheep know when you`re pulling the wool over their eyes? Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? If we make sweaters out of a sheep’s hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters? If you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear what can you make with it? If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll? What do pigs say when they don’t want to do something? Would it be `Yeawhen humans fly`? What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep? Why can’t pigs look up into the sky? Why do pigs have curly tails? Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs? Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn? Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it? Would a small pig be called a hamlet?

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Joke #5974 posted in the category: Deep Thoughts jokes.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain

cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

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Joke #7208 posted in the category: Deep Thoughts jokes.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity..... probably has a scapegoat.

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Joke #9135 posted in the category: Deep Thoughts jokes.

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