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Dentist jokes


A man and a woman meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the woman’s place.

A few drinks later, the man takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The woman has been watching him and says, ”You must be a dentist.”

The man, surprised, says ”Yes! How did you figure that out?”

”Easy,” she replies, ”you keep washing your hands.”

One thing leads to another and they make love.

After they are done, the woman says, ”You must be a good dentist.”

The man, now with a boosted ego says, ”Sure, I’m a good dentist. How did you figure that out?”

”Didn’t feel a thing!”

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Joke #7001 posted in the category: Dentist jokes.

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at Burger King. He noticed that they ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries. One for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup, and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, ”Oh, no. We`ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man than asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, ”Not yet. It’s his turn using the teeth.”

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Joke #10852 posted in the category: Dentist jokes.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.

Turning to the man next to him he said, ”I forgot my teeth.”

The man said, ”No problem.” With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. ”Try these,” he said.

The speaker tried them. ”Too loose,” he said.

The man then said, ”I have another pair... try these.”

The speaker tried them and responded, ”Too tight.”

The man was not taken back at all. He then said, ”I have one more paid of false teeth... try them.”

The speaker said, ”They fit perfectly.” With that he ate his meal and gave his address.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.

”I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”

The man replied, ”I’m not a dentist. I’m the local undertaker.”

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Joke #11989 posted in the category: Dentist jokes.

It has come to our attention recently that many of you

have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts

of ”Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However,

we need to know exactly what you are doing during your

unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended

job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of

precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let

us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,

Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

...........................

Code Description

****************

5316 - Useless Meeting

5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting

5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5319 - Waiting for Break

5320 - Waiting for Lunch

5321 - Waiting for End of Day

5322 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker

5323 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While

Coworker is Not Present

5393 - Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend

5400 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not

Interested in Learning

5401 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5402 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You

5481 - Buying Snack

5482 - Eating Snack

5500 - Filling Out Timesheet

5501 - Inventing Timesheet Entries

5502 - Waiting for Something to Happen

5503 - Scratching Yourself

5504 - Sleeping

5510 - Feeling Bored

5511 - Feeling Horny

5600 - Complaining About Lousy Job

5601 - Complaining About Low Pay

5602 - Complaining About Long Hours

5603 - Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 - Complaining About Boss

5605 - Complaining About Personal Problems

5640 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 - Not Actually Present At Job

5702 - Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu

6102 - Ordering Out

6103 - Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive

6104 - Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 - Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 - Stealing Company Goods

6202 - Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company

Goods

6203 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

to Sell Stolen Company Goods

6205 - Hiding from Boss

6206 - Gossip

6207 - Planning a Social Event (e. g. vacation, wedding, etc. )

6210 - Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 - Updating Resume

6212 - Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 - Out of Office on Interview

6221 - Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 - Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 - Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 - Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality

They Are Jerks

6238 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 - Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 - Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)

6602 - Complaining

6603 - Writing a Book on Company Time

6611 - Staring Into Space

6612 - Staring At Computer Screen

6615 - Transcendental Meditation

6969 - Beating off in Broom Closet

7281 - Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 - Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 - Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 - Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 - Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 - Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 - Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 - Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 - Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 - Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 - Recreational Drug Use

8001 - Non-Recreational Drug Use

8002 - Liquid Lunch

8100 - Reading e-mail

8102 - Laughing while reading e-mail

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Joke #13572 posted in the category: Dentist jokes.

Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist.

As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls.

The dentist says, ”Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.”

The woman replies, ”Yes... And we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”

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Joke #15865 posted in the category: Dentist jokes.

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