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According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn’t have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you`re eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows. In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of M & M’s. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.

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Joke #32259 posted in the category: Diet jokes.

A Newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

”Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, ”Did you follow my instructions?”

The Newfie nodded..... ”I’ll tell ya though, I t’aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day.”

From hunger, you mean?”

”No from the friggin skippin.”

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Joke #32260 posted in the category: Diet jokes.

Your Diet -----

for Those Of You Who Watch What You Eat...

here’s The Final Word On Nutrition And Health. It’s A Relief To Know The Truth After All Those Conflicting Medical Studies.

1. The Japanese Eat Very Little Fat And Suffer Fewer Heart Attacks Than The Americans.

2. The Mexicans Eat A Lot Of Fat And Suffer Fewer Heart Attacks Than The Americans.

3. The Japanese Drink Very Little Red Wine Andsuffer Fewer Heart Attacks Than The Americans

4. The Italians Drink Excessive Amounts Of Red Wineand Suffer Fewer Heart Attacks Than The Americans.

5. The Germans Drink A Lot Of Beer And Eat Lots Of Sausages And Fats And Suffer Fewer Heart Attacks Than The Americans.

conclusion: Eat And Drink What You Like. Speaking English Is Apparently What Kills You.

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Joke #32261 posted in the category: Diet jokes.

A Severely Obese Man, Upon The Advise Of His Physician, Goes Into A Quick Weight Loss Center.

”first Time?” Asks The Receptionist. ”we’ll Start You Out On The 10 Pound Program.”

she Takes Him Into A Room And Departs, Locking The Door Behind Her. In The Middle Of The Room Is A Nude Woman With A Sign On Her:

”if You Catch Me You Can Fuck Me”

he Chases The Attractive Woman Around The Room For An Hour Or So Until Catching Her And Doesn’t Come Out For Another Hour Or So. When He Finally Gets Home And Weighs Himself, He’s Lost Twelve Pounds.

needless To Say, He Loves This Place. He Returns The Next Day With His Fifty Bucks Handy. ”i’ll Try The 20 Pound Program Today.” She Takes Him To Another Room And Locks Him In Just As Before. In The Middle Of The Room Is A 400 Pound Gorilla With A Sign On Him:

”if I Catch You I Get To Fuck You.”

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Joke #32262 posted in the category: Diet jokes.

Try The Whole Food Diet - Whole Pies, Whole Chickens, Whole Cakes, Etc.....

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Joke #32263 posted in the category: Diet jokes.

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