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Divorce jokes


A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ”Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says ”I’m sending out 1, 000 Valentine cards signed, ’Guess who?’ ” ”But why?” asks the man. ”I’m a divorce lawyer.

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Joke #809 posted in the category: Divorce jokes.

A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding.

He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks, stated to no one in particular, ”Lawyers are horses’ asses.”

One of the locals spoke up on hearing this said, ”Mister, you’d better watch what you say. You’re in horse country.”

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Joke #5105 posted in the category: Divorce jokes.

micky and minnie in the divorce courts, the judge turns to mickey and says, u can’t divorce minnie for having bucked teeth, he replies, i didnt say that i said that she was fecking goofy

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Joke #7628 posted in the category: Divorce jokes.

A woman filed for divorce. The reason: her husband did not satisfy her sexual

needs.

”Tell your side of the story,” the judge said to the husband.

”When we just married,” the husband said, ”my wife said, ’Let’s us save money

for furniture.’ I agreed, so we ate only soup until we’d money for furniture.

Then she said, ’Let’s save money for a TV set..’ I agreed, so we ate only tea,

until we bought the TV set. Then she said, ’Let’s save money for a car. We

switched to water....”

”It’s interesting,” the judge said, ”But you better tell us about your

performance in bed. Your wife complains that you do not satisfy.....”

”Citizen’s judges! Just give me one bowl of soup, and I’ll satisfy all of

you.”

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Joke #14600 posted in the category: Divorce jokes.

”Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, ”and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”

”That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. ”And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

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Joke #15621 posted in the category: Divorce jokes.

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