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Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. ”Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, ”Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

The baby stork says, ”No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

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Joke #149 posted in the category: Education jokes.

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.

Johnny’s hand shoots up. ”Not correct, Miss!” he says. ”Please explain, Johnny,” replies the teacher.

”Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbors’ Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went ”ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!” , and before he could say ”F--K OFF!” , the dog ate him!”

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Joke #695 posted in the category: Education jokes.

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties.” They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.” No,” said another, ”he’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. ”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, ”to find the fire hydrant.”

-18+

Joke #1040 posted in the category: Education jokes.

Scene: It’s a fine beautiful day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, typing away on his laptop.

Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: ”What are you working on?” Rabbit: ”My Thesis paper to graduate from University.” Fox: ”Hmmmmm. What is it about?” Rabbit: ”Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.”

(There is an incredulous pause)

Fox: ”That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes!” Rabbit: ”Come with me and I’ll show you!”

They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his lap top and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hard working rabbit. (Tippy-tap, tippy-tap, tippy-tippy-tap).

Wolf: ”What’s that you are writing?” Rabbit: ”I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eats wolves.” (loud guffaws). Wolf: ”You don’t expect to get such garbage published, do you?” Rabbit: ”No problem. Do you want to see why?”

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself. This time he is patting his stomach. He goes back to his typing. (Tippy-tap, tippy-tap, tippy-tippy-tap).

Finally a bear comes along and asks, Bear: ”What are you doing?” Rabbit: ”I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eats bears.” Bear: ”Well that’s absurd!” Rabbit: ”Come into my home and I’ll show you.”

SCENE: Inside the rabbit’s burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner is a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: ----------------------- It doesn’t matter what you choose for a thesis topic. It doesn’t matter what you use for your data. It doesn’t even matter if your topic makes sense. What matters is who you have for a thesis advisor.

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Joke #2575 posted in the category: Education jokes.

”You Are Different and That’s Bad”

”Dad’s New Wife Timothy”

”Pop! Goes The Hamster... And Other Great Microwave Games”

”Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets”

”The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad”

”Babar Meets the Taxidermist”

”Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence”

”The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables”

”Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse”

”The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy”

”Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will”

”The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead”

”Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear”

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Joke #2576 posted in the category: Education jokes.

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