Funny jokes for every day
A Farmer And His Wife Are Lying In Bed Together One Mornig, When The Farmer Roles Over And Lets Out A Great Big Fart.
" Oh You Dirty Sod! " Says The Farmers Wife
this Goes On For Weeks And One Day The Farmers Wife Says
" One Day Your Goin' Ta Fart Your Guts Out! "
" Ha Like Hell " Chukles The Farmer And Farts Again
one Morning The Farmers Wife Gets Up Extra Early And Pops To The Nearest Shop And Buys A Big Cheap Bag Of Chicken Jibblets, She Rushes Home And Places The Jibblets Under The Covers And Goes Down Stair For Breakfast.
later The Farmer Comes Down Panting, His Face Bright Red
" Whats The Matter Dear? " Asks His Wife
" Ya' Now You Said Ill End Up Fartin' Me Guts Out..."
" Yes? "
" Well It Happend! "
" Oh " Says His Wife " Is You Alright? "
" I Am Now I Shoved Em' Back Up Again... "
Joke # 3512 from category: Fart jokes.
One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.
She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."
So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She was amazed at how cheap that was.
So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." she decided that was also really cheap.
And then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70." she told him that she would take it.
As she was getting the fishing pole all rung up, she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose.
All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $80."
Confused the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70."
He said, "It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."
Joke # 11646 from category: Fart jokes.
What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common?
a. They were both raised on beans.
b. They both have brown things on their cheeks.
c. They both have trouble singing in tight pants.
c. They both stink.
Joke # 27136 from category: Fart jokes.
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a BAD case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure. At that time, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decideds that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it. He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there." The guy thinks, "great they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down. This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
Joke # 27237 from category: Fart jokes.
There Were Three Bands In A Limo On Tour N'sync, backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears. some1 Farted And N'sync Said Not Us! backstreet Boy Said Not Us! britney Spears Said Oops I Did It Again! they Just Laughed And Went On There Way Singing. the Next Day They Got Back In The Limo And Some1 Farted Again N'sync Said Not Me! backstreet Boys Said Not Me! britney Spears Said Stronger Then Yesterday! lol
Joke # 29813 from category: Fart jokes.