Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, ”What`cha doing, Tim?” ”My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. ”I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned. ”That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, ”That’s because he’s inside your dumb cat.”-0+
A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. She ran into one of her friends.
Her friend asked, ”Hey! What do you have in the bag?”
She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag.
The friend says, ”Fish! Well, I’ll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you’ll have to give me one.”
The blonde says, ”I’ll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I’ll give you both of them.”
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery.
A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips.
He decided to compliment the chef.
Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, ”Are you the fish friar?”
”No,” the man replied, ”I’m the chip monk.”
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.
Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.
The voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice.
Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ”Is that you, Lord?”
The voice answered, ”NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.”