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Two cats have a swimming race aross the English Channel, one English, the other French. The English cat is called ”One two three”, the French cat is called ”Un deux trois”. Which cat wins...? The English cat. Why...? Because Un deux trois cat sank…

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Joke #2276 posted in the category: French jokes.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
A: A bisexual.

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Joke #6281 posted in the category: French jokes.

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, ”I’ll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him.”

Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can’t play their instruments.

The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.

The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.

The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set of bagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn’t be able to play it. He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.

After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says, ”Come on now! Play it!”

The octopus replies, ”What do you mean play it?! If I can figure out how to get the plaid pajamas off of it, I’m gonna screw it!”

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Joke #10048 posted in the category: French jokes.

A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The bartender says ”HEY! You can’t bring that pig in here.” The Frenchwoman says ”Excuse me... but that’s a duck.” The bartender says back, ”Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck.”

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Joke #10052 posted in the category: French jokes.

A man and his wife are seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.

After the waiter arrives the man says, ”I’LL have your biggest, thickest Porterhouse steak.”

The waiter replies ”But monsieur... what about ze mad cow?”

The man replies, ”She’ll have a salad.”

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Joke #10878 posted in the category: French jokes.

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