A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, ”What`ll it be buddy?” The man says, ”Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.” You`d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.” The bartender hastily asks, ”What do you have pal?” The man quickly replies, ”I have a dollar.”-0+
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying ”Norks Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs and says, ”You smell kind of norky. What do you do for a living?” The truck driver says, ”I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I am hauling.” The bartender says, ”Okay, truck drivers are not norks,” and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver said, totally shocked, ”Why did you do that?” The bartender said, ”Not to worry, the norks are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don’t even need a license.” The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the norkiest clothes he has ever seen. He can’t let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, ”What’s wrong? I thought norks were in season.” ”Well, sure,” said the patrolman. ”But you can’t bait ’em.”-0+
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments, ”You look terrible.
What’s the problem?”
”My mother died in June,” he said, ”and left me $10, 000.”
”Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.
”Then in July,” the friend continued, ”My father died, leaving me $50, 000.”
”Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.”
”And last month my aunt died, and left me $15, 000.”
”Three close family members lost in three months?
”Then this month,” continued, the friend, ”nothing!”
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.
After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman
charges him 50 cents, 15 for the beer and 35 for the food.
After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, ”Mate, that was the best steak I’ve ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him.”
”No problem,” says the barman. ”He’s upstairs with my wife.”
”What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?” asks the man.
”Probably the same thing I’m doing to his business down here!”