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Funny bar, beer and booze jokes


A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink and after a while they order the same again. They continue all night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them and ordering another load untill suddenly the giraffe falls off his stool and lies unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for the door, The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door ’You can’t leave that lyin’ ’ere!’ to which the man replies, ’Its not a lion its a giraffe!

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Joke #340 posted in the category: Funny bar, beer and booze jokes.

This big, brawny, dark-skinned Latin guy walks into a bar. On his shoulder is a beautiful blue-and-red parrot. The bartender says, admiringly ”That’s beautiful; where’d you get it?”

and the parrot says ”Down in Mexico; there’s millions of ’em!”

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Joke #401 posted in the category: Funny bar, beer and booze jokes.

A bear walks into a bar and says ”I’ll have a beer...

...

...

...

...

... and some peanuts.”

The bartender says, ”Why the big pause?”

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Joke #405 posted in the category: Funny bar, beer and booze jokes.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. amazed, the bartender says, ”hey, you can talk!”

”sure pal” says the duck, ”now can i get that drink?”

shaking his head, the barman serves the duck a beer and asks him what hes doing in the area.

”i work on the building site across the street,” says the duck.

”you should join the circus” says the barman, ”you could make a fortune!”

”the circus?” the duck replies. ”what the hell would the circus want with a bricklayer?”

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Joke #446 posted in the category: Funny bar, beer and booze jokes.

A Koala walks into bar and sits down and asks the bartender for a drink. Before the koala could take a drink, a prostitute sits next to the koala and asks him if he was interested in a good time. The koala was very interested and the two go into the bathroom and HAVE SEX. Afterwards the Koala goes out to the bar and finishes his drink and goes to leave when the prostitute stops him and asks him for her money. The koala looks puzzled and asks her what he owes her money for. Being the smart prostitute the she is, the prostitute pulls out a pocket dictionary and turns to the page with the word prostitute on it and hands it to the koala. The koala reads, ”Prostitute, person who exchange sex for money.” The koala laughs and flips to the page with koala on it and hands it to the prostitute. The prostitute reads, ”Koala, fuzzy mammel who eats bush and leaves.”

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Joke #491 posted in the category: Funny bar, beer and booze jokes.

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