Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he’d first had sex.
”It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,” Clem recalled.
”That sounds wonderful,” said Jed.
”Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.”
”Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?”
Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela are in an airplane with
20 kids. The airplane gets a failure and is doomed to crash. The plane has
only 20 parachutes. Nelson Mandela, as a great humanitarian says that
children should have them. Bill Clinton gets panicky and shouts, ”SCREW
THE CHILDREN!!” Michael Jackson’s face lights up and he shouts, ”YES,
YES!! But do we have enough time?”
A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. ”There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us,” he announced. ”Since I’m the pilot, I get one!” After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.” I’m the world’s greatest athlete,” proclaimed Michael Jordon. ”This world needs great athletes, so I must live.” Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.” I’m the smarest man in the world,” bragged Bill Gates. ”The world needs smart men, so I must also live!” Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. At this point, the Pope began to speak. ”I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane.” ”You don’t have to stay here! The world’s smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack.”-0+
Pope Benedict 16th, Osama Bin Laden, & Michael Jacskon Are On A Small Plane With 3 Boy Scouts And A Single Pilot.
a Huge Problem Occured When The Pilot Died Of A Sudden Heart Attack, And The Plane Spun Out Of Control. Even Worse, It Emerged That There Were Only 3 Parachuctes To Go Between 6 People. The Pope Spoke First. ”i Think We Should Give Them To The Boy Scouts”
bin Laden Said ”what! - No Way, Screw The Boy Scouts!” - Michael Jackson’s Face Lit Up Immediately - ”is There Time For That?.......”
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, and chuckles and says, ”You know I could throw a $10, 000 dollar bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, ”Well I could throw ten $1, 000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, ”Of course, then, I could throw one hundred $100 bills out the window and make one hundred pepole very happy.”
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, ”I could throw all of you out the window and make the WHOLE COUNTRY HAPPY!”