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Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze


A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, ”Your duck

is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t

dance a single step!”

”So?” asked the ducks’ former owner, ”did you remember to light the candle under the pot?”

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Joke #864 posted in the category: Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze.

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks,

”What would you like?” the fish says holding his neck,

”Water”.

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Joke #926 posted in the category: Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze.

A pony walks into a bar and asks, ”Bartender, may I have a drink?”

Bartender says, ”What? I can’t hear you. Speak up!”

”May I please have a drink?” asks the pony.

”What? You have to speak up!” the bartender says.

”Could I please have a drink?”

”Now listen, if you don’t speak up I will not serve you,” the bartender says.

”I’m sorry,” the pony adds, ”I’m just a little hoarse.”

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Joke #950 posted in the category: Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze.

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

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Joke #969 posted in the category: Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze.

Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, ”Where’s the bathroom?” The bartender points to the door and they rush in.

Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, ”Where’s the bathroom?” The bartender points to the door and they rush in.

One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit. ”Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?” asks the bartender.

”No thanks,” the piggy slurs, ”I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!”

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Joke #1030 posted in the category: Funny jokes about bar, beer and booze.

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